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The Best Page In The UniverseThe Best Page In The Universe is a personal humor website created by a university student http://www.poindexteronline.com/text/archives/00000078.html and self proclaimed pirate with the name George Ouzounian, nicknamed Maddox. The website became notorious because of its profane manner of parodying anyone and everyone whom Maddox deems unworthy (literally everyone and everybody, except maybe pirates, lumberjacks, Tabasco sauce, and himself). Nothing is sacred; nobody is spared. Even his fans are fodder for his egotistical rants. The popularity of the website may also be attributed to Maddox's non-partisan nature, simply being anti-establishment, anti-fad, anti-cool, and basically anti-anything and everything. Maddox presents statistics that show he has more visitors to his site than McDonald's, Pepsi and other large corporations, even though he spends no money whatsoever on advertising. Maddox recently received his 100,000,000th visit to his web page. He is also currently writing a book that will come out in the next two years. Maddox Source: Official FAQ Maddox claims to receive a lot of email and work for a telemarketing company writing programs in Informix 4GL/SQL, Perl (CGI), C, C++, Unix shell (Korn shell, Bourne shell, Bash), Sed/Awk, Java and PHP. Maddox describes himself as a 26-year-old mathematics student at the University of Utah. He says he works 40 to 60 hours per week. His website is made using vi and Unix. He claims to have had 79 marriage proposals from women and 4 from men. Part of his "shtick" is self-aggrandizing statements such as, "I'm The Center of the Universe," "I'm better than everyone," "I love me," "My balls are HUGE," "Oh man I rule so hard," "I AM KING," etc. (see http://maddox.xmission.com/imbest.html). Maddox can sometimes be found on the Internet Relay Chat network Whatnet.org (irc.whatnet.org) in the channel #maddox. Maddox has also become extremely popular - and fairly macho, in part because he has his real picture and name on his site. Despite his popularity, he neglected to tell his mother about the site. She soon found out and Maddox reported it in a Bash quote http://bash.org/?203247. Maddox is said to be of Armenian descent. The website The homepage of the website proclaims itself "The Best Page In The Universe". The format is a weblog. The visitor is advised: "If you disagree with anything you find on this page, you are wrong." The page also has a Che Guevara-like image of the author on it, wearing an eye patch and a skull and cross bones on his beret. Maddox often proclaims himself to be a pirate, and draws himself as such in some of his entries. When asked about the Che Guevara image, and if Maddox was a socialist, he responded, "No, I'm not a socialist/marxist/communist. I'm using the Che picture because I think it's a good parody of a recognizable icon, and because most people consider him 'Che the revolutionary', not 'Che the pinko'." Also, in earlier versions of his site, Maddox included a "Say NO to Communism" sign (probably as a parody of "Just Say No to Drugs" signs). Maddox explains how he started the site: He wrote a text document listing 50 things that made him angry. He gave the list to several people on Efnet's #coders. Their response was positive, so he started the controversial website in 1997. A section of the website, titled Commujism (a satirical, humorous misspelling of Communism), contains drawings of a pornographic and satirical nature. One of them is a parody of the numerous "Enlarge your penis" advertisements, so common on commercial pornographic websites. Other controversial drawings on his website include cows being eaten, hippies being killed, and similar images intended to shock the viewer. Maddox claims that he draws most of the controversial pictures himself using Microsoft Paint and occasionally Adobe Photoshop, Paint Shop Pro, and other graphics manipulation software. Sections of the website contain "hate mail" he has received, along with his caustic responses. Several pages humorously criticize vegetarianism and animal rights. Maddox sent tampons and "No More Tears" baby shampoo to Bill O'Reilly as a way of criticizing his talk show and his book, The No Spin Zone. http://maddox.xmission.com/c.cgi?u=bill_oreilly The layout of the website is simple; as he notes, "like Google". The author says that it thus saves his host Internet service provider, in bandwidth costs since it is such a popular site. In addition, the simple layout is there in protest to "flashy" sites that he says have little content. He reports that Etisalat, the sole United Arab Emirates telecommunications carrier has banned his site. He also reports that some fire walls come pre-packaged with his site blocked and listed as militant / extremist. He also banned access to his site from the domain of Websense, an Internet filter provider, in retaliation for adding his site to their block list. Maddox gave his website his own web award: Best Damn Webpage in the Universe. The webpage contains an online store which sells stickers and t-shirts with controversial messages such as "For every animal you don't eat, I'm going to eat three". About his items, his site states, "Most online stores sell shirts for around $17-$20 (plus shipping), so I'm clearly not milking you for these items, and frankly you're not doing me a favor by buying them. Everything on this site kicks ass, and if the shirts don't sell, I'll wear them all myself. I'm doing you a favor by selling them." As of March 18, 2005, Maddox has had over 100,000,000 unique visitors to his site. April Fools On April 1, 2004, the site was changed around as part of an April Fools joke. The title of the page was changed to One of the Better Pages in the Universe, and the new image showed the author superimposed on Mr. Clean. The caption was changed to "this page is about my opinions. if you disagree, you have a right to your opinion and i can respect that". The background of the page changed from black to white. He made a new series of articles parodying the vapid posts that have come to represent the majority of blogs. Many visitors thought that the joke was legitimate, that Maddox had either 'turned into a hippy' or his site had been hacked, emailing him and complaining. In response, he put an entry onto his site saying that he had lost all respect for people who visit his site due to their inability to realize a joke when they see one, and he said that "I seriously contemplated taking down my site and just posting links to animal porn for you retards." http://maddox.xmission.com/c.cgi?u=april_fools_you_morons On April 1, 2005, the site was changed again, this time as a parody of a Terri Schiavo support blog. It was made to resemble a poorly designed Xanga page, with satirical comments by fake users with names such as GrrlPower123. The page can still be accessed Lou images (NSFW) The Lou images are shock images that Maddox uses to joke around with his friends and to shock his enemies. Some IP addresses who are banned from his site are redirected to the Lou images. The higher the "number", the more offensive Maddox perceives the picture to be. Maddox states that he hasn't found a suitable "Lou2" yet. - lou1.jpg: A fat woman struggling to put her trousers on. The zipper to the trousers is not zipped all of the way up.
- lou3.jpg: A man wearing a thong bikini.
- lou4.jpg: An old man wearing plastic pants with an erection.
- lou5.jpg: A man looking at another man wearing women's underwear.
- lou6.jpg: A man wearing boxers with an erection.
- lou7.jpg: The Lemonparty image, featuring a triumvirate of elderly men, one of whom is performing oral sex on the second while a third is kissing the fellatee. Maddox states that he originally found the picture as "tribute_to_911_wtc_disaster.jpg".
- lou8.jpg: A man ejaculating into a woman's eye. The following string of text is to the right of the picture:
That's for real - cum right on the eye!
Mona loves it - and cum facials - and fucking her fans!
Wanna see cum on her face?
Click here!
- lou9.jpg: A picture of a man digitally altered so that the man appears to have a large penis. There are orange spots in the testicles and penis.
- lou10.jpg: A picture of a man with a vagina.
- lou11.jpg: A picture of a fat old woman exposing her genitals.
- lou12.jpg: A picture of a naked man sitting on a couch.
- lou13.jpg: A picture of a black man digitally altered so that the man appears to have a large penis.
Mothers Against Maddox Beth Robbins, a mother, formed Mothers Against Maddox. Her slogan was, "Help us Fight and Finally Shut Down the Most Hateful site on the Internet." She also created a PetitionOnline petition to get the site shut down. When Maddox wrote about it in his Websense article and posted a link to the original Geocities site, Mothers Against Maddox was inundated with visitors and repeatedly exceeded its bandwidth limit. Maddox hosted a mirror http://thebestpageintheuniverse.net/mam/. The Internet petition Beth Robbins set up was ridiculed because some people are able to sign them numerous times. After Maddox posted the petition link, the MAM petition shot up to the Top 10 Active Petitions with Maddox fans flooding the petition and posting extremely vulgar comments. It got so bad that Maddox even updated his page and wrote, "I've noticed some people posting phone numbers and addresses on the petition. Nice going morons. Don't post phone numbers." The petition was later removed. A popular theory is that Maddox himself created MAM. No evidence has shown this to be the case thus far, although some users claim that some of Maddox's writing style is apparent in some of the pages. This theory has possibly been caused by Maddox mirroring the website to thebestpageintheuniverse.com, an alias to The Best Page of the Universe, to prevent the real site from going down due to lack of bandwidth. However, the real page has sometimes been spotted actually working when its bandwidth wasn't clogged up. Some people have also emailed Beth Robbins and gotten responses back. Books Maddox is currently writing a book, which is due out in March 2006. Maddox says the book will not contain stories on or intended for the site, and he also plans to eventually release a comic book based on the adventures of his pirate alter-ego. External links Lou images WARNING: These images can be considered offensive. Note: These images may not be viewable from some locations. - http://maddox.xmission.com/lou1.jpg
- http://maddox.xmission.com/lou3.jpg
- http://maddox.xmission.com/lou4.jpg
- http://maddox.xmission.com/lou5.jpg
- http://maddox.xmission.com/lou6.jpg
- http://maddox.xmission.com/lou7.jpg (The same picture as Lemonparty)
- http://maddox.xmission.com/lou8.jpg
- http://maddox.xmission.com/lou9.jpg
- http://maddox.xmission.com/lou10.jpg
- http://maddox.xmission.com/lou11.jpg
- http://maddox.xmission.com/lou12.jpg
- http://maddox.xmission.com/lou13.jpg
Miscellaneous links - http://maddox.xmission.com/janetsboob.jpg Lemonparty image - originally led to the Janet Jackson breast picture.
- http://maddox.xmission.com/sunglasses2.jpg A doctored image of a woman wearing sunglasses, with the lemonparty image reflecting off of the sunglasses
- http://maddox.xmission.com/shit.jpg A picture of feces in a toilet with toy men on a toy boat in the toilet.
- http://monkeymofo.com/img/godkills.jpg Picture parodying the popular, "Every time you masturbate, God kills a kitten." Every time you masturbate, God kills a maddox.
- http://web.archive.org/web/20021119091546/lanceosborne.com/drawings.htm - A version of "I am better than your kids" that was posted by a man named Lance Osborne to his site without Maddox' permission. Maddox became angry at Osborne and made a pagehttp://web.archive.org/web/20030519222622/http://maddox.xmission.com/lance.html calling for the removal of the page, which happened.
Hidden Pages Maddox fansites Best Page in the Universe, The Maddox
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