Quantum Bogodynamics

Quantum bogodynamics is a humorous theory that characterises the universe in terms of sources of fictional fundamental particles, bogons. There are bogon sources (such as politicians, used-car salesmen, TV evangelists, and suits in general), bogon sinks (such as taxpayers and computers), and bogosity potential fields. Bogon absorption causes human beings to behave mindlessly and machines to fail (and may also cause both to emit secondary bogons); however, the precise mechanics of bogon-computron interaction are not yet understood. Bogosity is a humorous term used to describe the degree to which something is bogus. Bogosity is measured with a bogometer; in a seminar, when a speaker says something dubious, a listener might raise his hand and say "My bogometer just triggered". More extremely, "You just pinned my bogometer" means you just said or did something so outrageously bogus that it is off the scale, pinning the bogometer needle at the highest possible reading (one might also say "You just redlined my bogometer"). Quantum bogodynamics is most often invoked to explain the sharp increase in hardware and software failures in the presence of suits; the latter emit bogons, which the former absorb. The bogon has an antiparticle, the cluon.

See also


Article based on quantum bogodynamics (etc) at FOLDOC, used with permission.

 

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