Miss Susie

Miss Susie (also Miss Suzy, Miss Lucy, or Miss Mary) is the name of a schoolyard rhyme in which almost each verse leads up to a rude word or profanity, which then appears at the start of the next verse as part of an innocuous word or phrase. One version goes as follows:
Miss Susie had a steamboat
The steamboat had a bell
Miss Susie went to heaven
The steamboat went to
Hello operator
Please give me number nine
And if you disconnect me
I'll kick you from
Behind the refrigerator
There was a piece of glass
Miss Susie sat upon it
And cut her little
Ask me no more questions
Tell me no more lies
The boys are in the bathroom
Zipping up their
Flies are in the meadow,
The bees are in the park
Miss Susie and her boyfriend
Are kissing in the
Dark is like a movie
A movie's like a show
A show is like a TV screen
And that is all
I know I know my ma
I know I know my pa
I know I know my sister
with the 80 acre alligator bra.

Allusions

The rhyme is sometimes referenced in popular culture:
  • In the White Stripes song "Hello Operator" (on the album De Stijl): "Hello operator / Can you give me number nine?"
  • In The Simpsons: "Bart sold his soul, and that's just swell / Now he's going straight to / Hello operator / give me number nine"
In South Park, Wendy Testaburger has a similar song ("Miss Landers was a help-maid...").

Related

Other popular songs and poems employ similar gimmicks for humorous effect:
  • the folk song "Sweet Violets" ("There once was a farmer who took a young miss / In back of the barn where he gave her a / Lecture...")
* various versions of the poem "Suzanne" ("Suzanne was a lady with plenty of class / Who knocked 'em dead when she wiggled her / Eyes...")

 

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