Mr. Show With Bob And David

Conventions

Characters

Memorable phrases

• "Hey everybody, it's Bob and David!"
• "Mommy, What's a Gagortion?"
• "I SAW THE SHIT OUT OF IT!"
• "Can I use this chair?"
• "Now, Who wants ice cream?"
• "Keep 'em comin' Gleep Glop.."
• "I'll miss you... me."
• "All these goats are retarded."
• "Goats are the only animals with an innate sense of democracy, thats why they're called "Nature's Presidents."
• "Goats are stupid, mean, and hardheaded animals, thats why they're called "Nature's Presidents."
• "I'm Pit-Pat, and I love you."
• "Gentlemen, I propose that this arts funding is like a milking machine and unless we shut it down, it's gonna rip our dicks right off!"
• "Before I die, I'm gonna fuck me a fish."
• "Hey, I don't go to where you work and slap the dick out of your mouth."
• "Screw you mother-father, Chinese dentist."
• "No gay son of mine is a not gay, you better get gay or I'll make you gay!"
• "You can't shampoo a shampooer!"
• "Nipples on your ass..."
• "Charity is when you do something for people while other people are watching."
• "Take a picture, it'll last longer, jag-off!"
• "Get used to it Hitler."
• "This generation is worse than the hippies, the flappers, and the Nazis combined. At least the hippies gave us those fat watchbands and the Nazis had that song 8 Days A Week."
• "What's wrong, Philouza? A few too many of Mr. Graham's crackers?"
• "Scientists have ascertained that there may be as many as... 24 stars in the cosmos."
• "I'm Fran and I'm a woman."
• "'Rock & Roll Double Chunk'. It has chocolate in it, and we figure if people like rock and roll music, they'll like this, cause it says 'Rock & Roll' on it."
• "My great great great grandfather started this company with one single rickety leaky hand-crafted slave ship, and a simple motto: 'People Selling People to People.'"
• "I ain't afraid of no rolley coaster"
• "Hey I got a fake asshole...y'all got fake poo?"
• "Hi, Larry's the name, insurance is my game. Raping was another game of mine but..."
• "I have a question, and I know you all have it, too. What is up Satans ass?! All he wants to do is fuck us up, the dick-licker! Now the Lord said, I am the light of the world. Now, He could as easily have said, I am King Shit of Fuck Mountain. Why would you fuck with me?! Now, Ill tell you what. I am the only preacher with the fuckin' balls, and you know this, you all know this, to say, "Satan I damn thee! You goddamm motherfuckin', shit-eatin', cock-suckin', son of a B!" Can I get a fuckin' A?
• "As mayor of the altered state of Druggachusettes, I declare this pizza to be, awesome!"
• "Yeah, my doctor says I need medical marijuana to get high."
• "Mr. Pickle's funtime abortion clinics: we'll bring out the kid in you."
• "Well, if you're blind, then how did you know I was a ... homosexual?"
• "Dick lickers!"
• "Don't mess around ... with God's America."
• "Ooh. I gotta take a shit. Hey Todd, hand me that Hustler."
• "Oh silly! Everybody knows only British people can fly"
• "Any cock'll do!"
• "Be kind, Rewind"
• "I am a camera, a camera am I!"
• "Tofutti break!!"
• "Who would shit on a flag made out of shit? It would be an empty gesture."
• "The Great Caruso wasn't nearly as great as, say, SAMMY HAGAR, the red rocker!"
• "What--you think courts are run by judges and juries and trials? Hah! Courts are run by a series of blowjobs!"
• "I can taste colors!"
• "Oh my scammy flammy mammy!"
• "Hey, who wants a banana?"
• "Hey mom, could you pass the mashed potatoes?" "That wasn't part of the deal, son."
• "And my heart feels like a mouth full of sores. A mouth full of sores ain't no fun."
• "Frame it, bury it, walk 10 paces dig it up in 20 years and teach the world to sing!"
• "Don't stick your dick in these three holes"
• "Heavens to Betsy, I've invented a praying machine!"
• "IT'S PUMPKININNNNNNY!!!"
• "A rap, a rap, a rappity rap"
• "Guys, Kate and I are getting married"
• "And that's when Lincoln said, 'Don't diss my homies'."
• "And don't forget to break some rules. But... Don't break any rules."
• "I'm an old gold tooth, and I'll tell you the truth. I live in the mouth of a homie."
• "Tri-cycles would be bi-cycles. Who's ever heard of a bi-cycle?"
• "Legend, oh legend, the third wheel legend. Always in the way.
• "I wish I could be everywhere people are performing art."
• "Where ideas can hang out - and do whatever!"
• "Can't I just make you some sperm? It's really good."
• "Already our little one's got a scholarship to Miss Lilly's Finishing School." "What's that?" "It's a - a school where they teach ya - how to finish."
• "There's no such thing as a talking junkie!"
• "One...thousand dollars if you ever want to see my toe again."
• "There's a reason for the phrase, 'as dumb as an actor.'"
• "It was a baaaaabyyyyyyy!!!"
• "My shoes hurt!"
• "Please don't kill me!"
• "To say we killed 24 Jews would be an exaggeration"
• "Dude, show me your weenis!"

External links

• Bob and David's official site
• Resources from unoriginal.com, skit list and transcripts

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