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Sierra Vista
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Sierra Vista The City of Sierra Vista was founded around 1956 by a bunch of very bored people looking for a good place to coagulate and subsequently die. Sitting right next to the historic and oft controversial Fort Huachuca, Sierra Vista has one of the most unique and diverse populations in Southern Arizona. Having said that, prepare to meet the freaks. Sierra Vista is overrun with freaks of all kinds. Political freaks, religious freaks, drug freaks, and just plain damned freaks. Recent freak events include the shutdown of the area Planned Parenthood clinic, which used to exist on Fry Boulevard (the main street in the north part of town). Planned Parenthood's clinic was part of a strip mall which includes a Baskin Robbins, a pet store, a computer store, a music store, and so on. When Planned Parenthood began administering "the morning after" pill, their landlords refused to let them renew their lease. In less than 30 days, they were kicked to the curb, and the political/religious freaks in town rejoiced. Now, there's another variety of political freakery going on: School Budget Overrides. Sierra Vista is PLAUGED with bad schools, and some people think the answer is to increase already excessive property taxes to reform the ailing public school system. This has been voted down twice in the last decade. Other freakeries include the teenaged and teenage-minded car cults. Stop by any large lot along Fry Blvd from the hours of 8 pm to 1 am, and you're likely to spot dozens of retards in ugly, loud cars. Just be sure not to make extensive eye-contact with them, as they take that as a direct challenge. Sierra Vista's area architecture is famed for being freaky! Just check out the local library, which looks like an earthquake victim. It's the choppy building on Tacoma, you can't miss it. Drive by the police station, also on Tacoma, at night! You'll see a group of christmas lights in the shape of torches. Noone knows why. Some speculate it turns the area police into COPS FROM BEYOND! And if you ever have the misfortune of encountering one of the COPS FROM BEYOND!, you'll know what I mean. Shopping in Sierra Vista is about as mundane and lackluster as it gets. Walmart. Kmart. Target. Home Depot. A mall full of overpriced junk shops and Bath & Bodyworks. That's it, folks. Hastings and Blockbuster are primary entertainment shops, but if you're looking for porn, you'll find it at Movies To Go, on none other than Fry Boulevard. Several supermarkets are available at any time before 11 pm, and are usually packed at any given hour. I hate going to the supermarkets here. What's that? You're looking for a way to cool off in the 100+ summer highs? Look no further to the Sierra Vista Aquatic Center, aka "The Cove"! For $5, you too can file through a series of doors and listen to kids scream bloody murder as they pee in a small, cramped, zero-depth entry wave pool. You better check their hours though, because they close most of the time and can't really afford to stay in operation. The last semblance to recreation in Sierra Vista that doesn't include dodging vomit at the area drinkin' holes involves the three movie theaters: Cinemark, by the mall on AZ92, R & M (aka "the dollar theater" because of cheap admission), on Wilcox, and Uptown on AZ92. Cinemark usually gets every new release, while Uptown sometimes gets new releases that aren't expected to do too well. R & M hasn't had a new release since Cinemark moved in, in 1998. Enjoy your stay in sunny, abysmal Sierra Vista. Just try not to trip over each other on the way out. - aeon@lassitude.net So then go back home to Mexico. - Sierra Vista Resident
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